Decency: Reaping what we sow?

I was out with a group of friends for a girls' night out this past Saturday night, complete with dinner and a musical. The show was actually about a "girls' night out" just before Christmas. I figured it could be cute, in a warm and fuzzy Christmas kind of way. Boy, was I wrong. On the contrary, I left feeling ashamed and wondering, in reference to the Mel Gibson movie, what, exactly, do women want?

As a quick aside, right before the show was about to start, I had run out to the lobby to buy a bottle of water. There was a bit of a line and not much time, but a very elegant, distinguished looking gentleman in front of me kindly gestured to let me go ahead of him. Once he returned from the lobby, I noticed he was there with his wife and they were sitting near the front of the stage. Just before the show started, one of the cast members came out on stage, asked for the house lights to come on, and proceeded to scan the audience for the men (there were about five of them). She zeroed in on the man from the lobby, whose name turned out to be Barry, and warned him he'd regret being there.

The show's cast consisted of five women and took place in a bar as they chatted, sang and danced during their "girls' night out". What could be the harm, right? Except for the fact that it was filthy. I don't mean foul language. There was actually shockingly little of that. I am talking about the dialog itself. There was not a sexual reference, a private body part, or a bodily function left unmentioned. In short, it was vile.

It didn't stop with just puerile references to everything sexual and anatomical. Men in general were not spared a thing. If anyone were to base their image of men on the conversation by these women, they would believe all men are cheaters, idiots, cads, and mentally challenged. 

Poor, sweet Barry from the audience became an unwitting, invisible character in the show as one of the cast member's fiance was magically named Barry. Barry was an idiot. Barry was a cheater ("of course he cheats. He's a man!"). Barry's choice of underwear was described for all to hear. After intermission, the real Barry and his wife were gone. I was jealous.

It saddened me how these five cast members so willingly squandered their own dignity by taking part in such a gross, base depiction of women. While the songs they sang and danced to were actually good displays of talent and entertainment, after each song's completion, the conversation quickly resumed and returned to its pathetic level. 

What was even more sad was wondering if the women in the cast - and several hooting and hollering women in the audience - even knew their dignity was something worth preserving. Are women even being taught about dignity in a world that puts so much importance on a woman's ability to attract the opposite sex, as if that is a female's only value?

But as these women depicted in the show, women are miserable victims of awful men, yet must try harder and harder to get their attention by dressing and acting in provocative ways. So then I wonder, if women try so hard to attract the attention of men based on over-the-top physical allure, do they have room to then complain for being treated like sexual objects? And when the outward appearance is accompanied by the type of appalling talk that would make a sailor blush, or a decent guy like Barry flee, do women really expect to attract decent men?

I wished I could have caught up with Barry to apologize to him on behalf of the women who are horrified by the type of talk we heard that night, and to let him know that many, if not most, of us absolutely recognize and value the decency of the vast majority of men. Yes, there are some men who are cads, of course, and they need to be held accountable for any lines they cross. But as for those women who reject the premise that most guys are decent, I can only ask, if these women really want men to "behave" well, shouldn't it begin with women behaving themselves?

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